30 October 2014

Why fornication is peculiarly evil

by Phil Johnson


From 2006 to 2012, PyroManiacs turned out almost-daily updates from the Post-Evangelical wasteland -- usually to the fear and loathing of more-polite and more-irenic bloggers and readers. The results lurk in the archives of this blog in spite of the hope of many that Google will "accidentally" swallow these words and pictures whole.

This feature enters the murky depths of the archives to fish out the classic hits from the golden age of internet drubbings.


The following excerpt was written by Phil back in January 2011. Phil explained what makes sexual sin especially evil.


As usual, the comments are closed.
At the heart of all the problems in the church at Corinth was a tendency to let the values of that debauched culture seep into the church. That's something for missional Christians to consider today: cultural assimilation as a strategy for church growth in a pagan culture is fraught with serious dangers. Especially in a city filled with both temples and brothels—where fornication was literally deemed a religious rite—the worst thing the church could do would be to take a lax attitude toward sexual sin.

The vast majority of the Jewish community in Corinth had rejected the gospel (Acts 18:6). So the church was made up of mostly Gentiles who, of course, came from a culture that was not inclined to see sexual sin as unspiritual. Just the opposite. Most of the "religion" in Corinth involved temple prostitution and debauched sexual behavior.

That may explain somewhat why the Corinthian church would receive into their membership a man who was fornicating with his father's wife (1 Corinthians 5:1). Perhaps they thought they could connect with their culture better if they casually accepted the man's sin without flinching. In fact, it seems clear that some of the people in the Corinthian church did indeed wear extreme tolerance like a badge of honor. First Corinthians 5:2 says people in the Corinthian assembly were puffed up. They actually took some sort of perverse pride in their liberality towards such a grossly immoral act.

Not only was this guy's incest a supremely immoral and deeply shameful sin; it wasn't really impressing even the most immoral people in the Corinthian culture. Incest was a sin that even shocked the grossest pagans of Corinth (v. 1).

Paul wasn't gentle in his rebuke. He ordered the Corinthians to excommunicate the man (vv. 7, 13).

Notice: Paul wasn't impressed with how sophisticated and missional the Corinthians were. In fact (this can hardly be stressed enough) Paul never encouraged the Corinthians to blend into their culture by adopting an easygoing familiarity with or an extra-tolerant attitude toward the distinctive sins of that culture. On the contrary, he stressed the importance of avoiding the sins associated with Corinthian paganism.

No, I take it back. "Avoiding" is too mild in light of what Paul actually told them: "Flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18).

But first he hammers them with several reasons why fornication is such an unholy, degrading, defiling sin:
It dishonors the purpose for which God made our bodies. (1 Cor 6:13)
It defiles our spiritual union with Christ. (1 Cor 6:15-17)
Such sins of the body also desecrate the Temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Cor 6:19)
Now, put all this together. You want to know why fornication has always been regarded as a particularly heinous sin? Because it involves personal and direct transgressions against each Member of the Trinity. It debases and dishonors the body, which (v. 13) is "for the Lord." God created it for His purposes. To use it for any other purpose—especially a purpose as evil as an act of fornication—is a sin against God the Father. It's a sin against Christ as well (v. 15), because it takes our members, which are Christ's by union with Him, and joins them to a harlot, defiling our holy union with Christ. And it's a sin against the Holy Spirit (v. 19), because it desecrates the temple in which He dwells.

And notice Paul's counsel to the Corinthians. He doesn't urge them to get into a recovery program for sexual addicts. He doesn't suggest that they get therapy. He just tells them to stop it.

29 October 2014

Something for Nothing

by The Late Frank Turk

I wasn't going to post anything today because I have had a full week, but a few things have happened this morning which have caused me to reconsider, and I think they are worth the 15 minutes it will take to write this, and the 3 minutes it will take you to read this.

When I owned the Bookstore, with nothing but true love and affection for those people who did shop there, the singular lesson I learned about "Christian" retail and publishing is that it is what it is because that's how people are willing to spend their money.  People who wants something different from a Christian bookstore than what you can find at any ol' Christian bookstore aren't willing to spend their money on the stuff they say they wish was in there, and the people who are willing to spend their money on what they wish was in there don't want what's actually good for them: they want what they want to make them feel good about who and what they are.

That's why Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyers are such big hits, and why they make tens of millions of dollars every year.  They are delivering the goods.

That's also why this is a hobby for me and not a way to make a living: nobody is going to pay for this stuff.  When we sound the horn that the problem is not gay activism but that the church abandoned marriage a long time ago (here and here), we didn't get even a HT from people who are now actually saying it publicly.

What I am not asking you to do, BTW, is to pay me or Dan for anything.  Our collective problem is that we simply cannot shut up, so paying us to do what we're going to do until they come for us to take us away seems like asking you to do something for nothing.  But I want you to think about this carefully, and ask others to do so also: even if you are not spending your money on TBN merchandise and the next Osteen book, what are you spending your money on, and why?  And if you can't explain it, then I think you're probably not as upset about the state of the local church as you might say that you are.








28 October 2014

Encouragement from Gurnall: God's strength for me

by Dan Phillips

As part of my morning devotional reading I'm going through William Gurnall's The Christian in Complete Armour. Though I have the hard-copy, I'm using the Logos edition.

I've just started preaching through Ephesians. My fourth sermon got me partway through verse 1a. So I figure that, given my rate of preaching and Gurnall's weigh-in of 1240 pages, I ought to be mostly through it by the time I get to the armor of God in chapter 6, DV.

You know that Gurnall is a Puritan writer, and perhaps some acquaintaince with Owen prepares you for difficult, turgid prose. That's what makes reading him such a delight. He so often uses quaint, everyday, homely turns of phrase. He's Puritanism at its best, mulling and chewing over the morsels of Scripture until we get the whole sweetness.

So that said, let me give you an extended excerpt that just encouraged and strengthened me. He's in his fourth chapter dwelling on "be strong in the Lord" and developing the implications of that charge. I'll add some paragraph-breaks to make it a bit more readable, and I'll bold a few particularly-notables.

Hear Gurnall and be encouraged:
First, In agonies of conscience that arise from the greatness of thy sins, fly for refuge into the almighty power of God. Truly, sirs, when a man’s sins are displayed in all their bloody colours, and spread forth in their killing aggravations, and the eye of conscience awakened to behold them through the multiplying or magnifying glass of a temptation, they must needs surprise the creature with horror and amazement, till the soul can say with the prophet, for all this huge host, ‘There is yet more with me than against me.’ One Almighty is more than many mighties. All these mighty sins and devils make not any almighty sin, or an almighty devil. Oppose to all the hideous charges brought against thee by them, this only attribute. As the French ambassador once silenced the Spaniard’s pride in repeating his master’s many titles, with one that drowned them all.
...The very consideringas none can bind God but himself, so none can break the bond himself makes; and are they not his own words, that ‘he will abundantly pardon?’ Isa. 55. He will multiply to pardon; as if he had said, I will drop mercy with your sin, and spend all I have, rather than let it be said my good is overcome of your evil.
God to be God, supposeth him to be almighty to pardon, as well as to avenge, and this is some relief; but then to consider it is almighty power in bond and covenant to pardon, this is more: 
...Thou mayest, poor soul, when accused by Satan, molested by his terrors, say, It is God that justifies; I have his hand to it, that I should have my life given me as soon as I laid down my arms and submitted to him, which I desire to do; behold the gates of my heart are open to let the Prince of Peace in, and is not the Almighty able to perform his promise? I commit myself to him as unto a faithful Creator.
Secondly, Improve this alstands in sight of thee while thou art in the valley fighting, and stays [refrains from helping] but for a call from thee when distressed in battle, and then he will come to thy rescue. Jehoshaphat cried, when in the throng of his enemies, and the Lord helped him; much more mayest thou promise thyself his succour in thy soul-combats.
mighty power of God and thy interest therein, in temptations to sin; when thou art overpowered, and fleest before the face of thy strong corruption, or fearest thou shalt one day fall by it, make bold to take hold of this attribute, and reinforce thyself from it; again to resist, and in resisting, to believe a timely victory over it. The Almighty God 
Betake thyself to the throne of grace with that promise, ‘Sin shall not have dominion over you;’ and before thou urgest it, the more to help thy faith, comfort thyself with this, that though this word Almighty is not expressed, yet it is implied in this and every promise; and thou mayest, without adding a tittle to the word of God, read it in thy soul; ‘Sin shall not have dominion over you,’ saith the Almighty God; for this and all his attributes are the constant seal to all his promises. Now, soul, put the bond in suit, fear not the recovery, it is debt, and so due. He is able whom thou suest, and so there is no fear of losing the charge of the suit; and he that was so gracious to bind himself when he was free, will be so faithful, being able, to perform now he is bound; only while thou expectest the performance of the promise, and the assistance of this almighty power against thy corruptions, take heed that thou keep under the shadow of this attribute, and condition of this promise, Psa. 91:1.
The shadow will not cool, except in it. What good to have the shadow, though of a mighty rock, when we sit in the open sun? To have almighty power engaged for us, and we to throw ourselves out of the protection thereof, by bold sallies into the mouth of temptation? The saints’ falls have been when they run out of their trench and hold; for, like the conies, they are a weak people in themselves, and their strength lies in the rock of God’s almightiness which is their habitation.
Thirdly, Christian, improve this, when oppressed with the weight of any duty and service, which in thy place and calling lies upon thee. Perhaps thou findest the duty of thy calling too heavy for thy weak shoulders; make bold by faith to lay the heaviest end of thy burden on God’s shoulder, which is thine, if a believer, as sure as God can make it by promise. When at any time thou art sick of thy work, and ready to think with Jonas to run from it, encourage thyself with that of God to Gideon, whom he called from the flail to thresh the mountains: Go in this thy might; hath not God called thee? Fall to the work God sets thee about, and thou engagest his strength for thee. ‘The way of the Lord is strength.’ Run from thy work, and thou engagest God’s strength against thee; he will send some storm or other after thee to bring home his runaway servant. How oft hath the coward been killed in a ditch, or under some hedge, when the valiant soldier that stood his ground and kept his place, got off with safety and honour?
...He can give thee so much comfort in hand, as thou shalt acknowledge God is aforehand with thee, for all the shame and pain thou canst endure for him. And if it should not amount to this, yet so much as will bear all thy charges thou canst be put to in the way, lies ready told in that promise, 1 Cor. 10:13. Thou shalt have it at sight; and this may satisfy a Christian; especially if he considers, though he doth not carry so much of heaven’s joy about him to heaven as others, yet he shall meet it as soon as he comes to his Father’s house, where it is reserved for him.
In a word, Christian, rely upon thy God, and make thy daily applications to the throne of grace, for continual supplies of strength; you little think how kindly he takes it, that you will make use of him, the oftener the better; and the more you come for, the more welcome; else why would Christ have told his disciples, ‘Hitherto ye have asked nothing,’ but to express his large heart in giving, loath to put his hand to his purse for a little, and therefore by a familiar kind of rhetoric puts them to rise higher in asking, as Naaman, when Gehazi asked one talent, entreats him to take two. Such a bountiful heart thy God hath, while thou art asking a little peace and joy, he bids thee open thy mouth wide, and he will fill it.
Go and ransack thy heart, Christian, from one end to the other; find out thy wants, acquaint thyself with all thy weaknesses, and set them before the Almighty, as the widow her empty vessel before the prophet; hadst thou more than thou canst bring, thou mayest have them all filled. God hath strength enough to give, but he hath no strength to deny: here the Almighty himselfwith reverence be it spoken, is weak; even a child, the weakest in grace of his family that can but say Father, is able to overcome him, and therefore let not the weakness of thy faith discourage thee. No greater motive to the bowels of mercy to stir up almighty power to relieve thee, than thy weakness, when pleaded in the sense of it. The pale face and thin cheeks, I hope, move more with us, than the canting language of a stout sturdy beggar. Thus that soul that comes laden in the sense of his weak faith, love, patience, the very weakness of them carries an argument along with them for succour.
[William Gurnall and John Campbell, The Christian in Complete Armour (London: Thomas Tegg, 1845), 19–21.]
Isn't that good? Better still, the truth Gurnall relished.

Be encouraged, Christian friend; and be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.

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26 October 2014

May the icebergs melt!

Your weekly dose of Spurgeon
The PyroManiacs devote some space each weekend to highlights from the lifetime of works from the Prince of Preachers, Charles Haddon Spurgeon.  The following excerpt is from The Teachings of Nature in the Kingdom of Grace, pages 154-55, Pilgrim Publications.
Heaven will consist largely in the communion of saints, and if we would enjoy heaven below we must carry out the words of the creed in our practice,—“I believe in the communion of saints.”

Let us show that we do believe in it. Some persons sit still in their pews till the time to go, and then walk down the aisle in majestic isolation, as if they were animated statues. Do children thus come in and out of their father's house with never a word for their brothers and sisters?

I know professors who float through life like icebergs from whom it is safest to keep clear: surely these partake not of the spirit of Christ? It is well when such icebergs are drawn into the gulf stream of Divine love and melt away into Christ and His people.

There should be among those who are children of the common Father a mutual love, and they should show this by frequent commerce in their precious things, making a sacred barter with one another. I like to hear them making sacred exchanges: one mentioning his trials, another quoting his deliverances; one telling how God has answered prayer, and another recording how the word of God has come to him with power.

Such converse ought to be as usual as the talk of children of one family. “Thou that dwellest in the gardens, the companions hearken to thy voice.” They do not merely hear it, and say to themselves, “I wish she would be quiet,” but they hearken, they lend an ear, they listen gladly.

I know some Christians whose lips feed many. I could mention brethren and sisters who drop pearls from their lips whenever they speak. We have still among us Chrysostoms, or men of golden mouths; you cannot be with them for half an hour without being enriched. Their anointing is manifest, for it spreads to all around them.

When the Spirit of God makes our communications sweet, then the more of them the better.


24 October 2014

Some here, some there — October 24, 2014

by Dan Phillips

Well, another week! Got my beautiful wife back from helping with my beautiful granddaughter, Zoé Isabelle Allen... oh, what's that you say? Do I have another picture? Mm, let's see, I'm sure there's one here somewhere... Ah:


Ahem. Now to business. Remember to check back at day's end for updates.
  • Let me say at the outset: one of the sites that refers me to great posts and articles is The Aquila Report. I tend to use their links and read the articles at the sites, and when I use the articles, I link to that site. But I'm putting The Aquila Report in our blogroll prominently, and commend it to you.
  • You probably will have heard by now that Mark Driscoll's elders, who notably softballed the process as it was by excluding should-be issues, have shared that he resigned rather than submit to any process of restoration. No price too little to pay, evidently.
  • Joel J. Miller is not even evangelical, and he gets what many don't. Miller's apparently Eastern Orthodox and, to be as candid as you expect me to be, I'll say I think that's a bad thing. Yet Miller gets what some evangelicals don't as clearly seem to see: that there are points on the line between wishing Mark Driscoll hell and destruction on the one hand, and wanting to see him restored to pastoral ministry on the other. Restore him? Yes, says, Miller, who then asks, "...but to what?" For instance, "what’s wrong with Driscoll becoming a lawyer or waiter or what have you?" Further:
Since when does welcoming someone back to fellowship mean that you have to welcome him back to a post he abused? What’s wrong with a pew, even up front if he wants it? But just a pew? Laity, as the kids might say if the idea ever entered their heads, rocks!

...The truth is that Paul’s criteria for pastoral leadership are pretty stringent. I daresay few of us really qualify. Maybe Driscoll is simply not pastoral material.

That’s not bad or shameful. Some would say it’s just blisteringly obvious. I don’t know. I just don’t see any point in crucifying him—or giving him back the keys to the building. That’s a bogus choice.

Having said that, I’d be happy to sit with him anytime.
  • Miles Mullin draws an extended parallel between Driscoll and another living, breathing cautionary tale, the trainwreck that is Bill Clinton, and makes application to what we should (and shouldn't) look for in church leaders (h-t Aquila Report).
  • Now, I won't even bother to link to any of the posts saying "Stop gloating" and all that. Instead, let's observe the process.
  1. Some warn of the impending disaster.
  2. They are shushed, criticized, ignored, blacklisted.
  3. The disaster happens. Even enablers are forced to take some small note.
  4. Almost immediately, the former enablers say "Don't gloat! Maybe we were wrong, but you were wronger (because: tone)! Move on!"
  5. Any suggestions of preventative systemic change are thereby snuffed out a-borning.
  6. Nothing changes.
  7. Cue the next slow-mo train wreck.
  • Seemed like a simple enough question. But she never answered it. Snif! When I brought it up, she asked what I was talking about, so I linked her to my tweet with the question. She never responded. I mean, unless this is in the place of a response...
  • No, you're not missing a tweet where I myself called her a name or treated her like, um, bad stuff. I asked a question, then noted I wasn't answered. So, there you go. It's like...
  • In this edition of SHST, I discussed with you dear brother Doug Wilson's lamentable attempts to tone down the content-aspect of "saved by grace alone through faith alone." Well, God help him, he's trying again. I actually think he makes it worse by doubling down. 
  • Most of us gladly allow that there are saved people attending RC churches who don't yet get how opposed Rome is to that Gospel and Savior in which they savingly trust. But Doug now specifically indicates instructed, faithful-to-Rome Roman Catholics, and says they're saved if they believe the version of the Gospel he gives. He says it's the Gospel that matters, not so much our response, saith Doug.
  • However, Doug seems to be aware that Galatians tears that theory all to heck. Specifically Galatians 5:3. Can we really think that the apostle who said "if you accept circumcision, Christ will be of no advantage to you...you are severed from Christ...you have fallen away from grace" (Gal. 5:2, 4), would not equally say "if you accept a sacramental, works-system of salvation, Christ will be of no advantage to you," and all the rest, including 1:8-10? Indeed, we are saved by grace, through faith — and not just any "faith."
  • Glass strength: check.
That's it for now. Be safe.



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23 October 2014

Fear and Comfort are complements, not antonyms

by Dan Phillips


From 2006 to 2012, PyroManiacs turned out almost-daily updates from the Post-Evangelical wasteland -- usually to the fear and loathing of more-polite and more-irenic bloggers and readers. The results lurk in the archives of this blog in spite of the hope of many that Google will "accidentally" swallow these words and pictures whole.

This feature enters the murky depths of the archives to fish out the classic hits from the golden age of internet drubbings.


The following excerpt was written by Dan back in October 2011. Dan explained why fear and comfort are both necessary parts of the Christian's walk.


As usual, the comments are closed.
Wouldn't you think that "fear" and "comfort" are antonyms, like "love" and "hate," or "darkness" and "light"?

In a Biblical context, we might most quickly associate the word "fear" with "of the LORD," or "of Yahweh." That topic — "the fear of Yahweh" — is a major Biblical theme. Clearly, in Proverbs, it is a literally foundational thought (cf. 1:7; 9:10; 31:30). In the Proverbs book, a chapter of 40+ pages traces the concept through its older Old Testament appearances, just so we can begin to understand Solomon's use of it throughout the book of Proverbs. One discovery is that the concept itself frames and must color our understanding of each individual verse within the entire book.

When we develop the concept Biblically, we feel the burden to show that the fear of Yahweh is not (as some might think) an Old Testament concept as opposed to a New Testament concept. Indeed, it is quite literally a pan-Biblical concept.

This stood out to me in a recent daily Bible reading. Acts 9:31 leapt out at me in this context:
So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied.
There's that same phrase we find in the OT; in fact, the Septuagint of Proverbs 9:10 has φόβος κυρίου ("fear of the Lord"), as the beginning of wisdom. The post-Pentecost Christian church proceeded in that same fear. They lived their life from that motivation, the very same motivation found throughout the OT, and identified by Solomon as the necessary starting-place of knowledge (1:7) and of wisdom (9:10).

That in itself is instructive and thought-provoking. Though they'd been saved by the shed blood of Christ, though the Spirit had been outpoured, though non-Jews were beginning to be brought in, yet one thing that united them all is that they moved on in their Christian lives with the motivation of fear of the Lord.

It poses the question: how dominant of an element is this in the modern Christian's life? How does it affect the way he thinks, the way he forms views, the way he talks and lives and chooses and writes? How much is a lack of this quality a factor in the situations that vex us here at this virtual gathering? How many bloggers, writers, pastors are limp and passionless because they are less motivated by fear of the Lord than by fear of man, which is a snare (Prov. 29:25)? How many doctrinal errors, or errors of ministry or practice, can be traced to the want of that fear (cf. 3:7; 14:2; 15:33; 23:17; 28:14)? There's fertile ground for self-analysis, and re-examination of the genesis of wandering, in that topic.

Clearly, the jarring disconnect we feel between fear and comfort was not a problem to Luke. It was fear that gave the heart and mind the right stance before God; it was comfort given by the Spirit that assured and encouraged him in the life he was moved to live.

I conclude that either, to the exclusion of the other, is an unhealthy imbalance. Conversely each, coupled with the other, is a spiritually healthy blend.

What God has joined, we shouldn't sunder.

22 October 2014

The Wrong Kind of Ice Cream

by The late Frank Turk

On principle, let me say this before I say the other thing, below: we're fans of Todd Friel. He's pretty much in our neighborhood, our orbit on a lot of things. When he's good, he's clever and clear and winsome.

And then there are videos like this one:



Which, let's face it ... I mean: I like Potato Soup, and I like Ice Cream, but I would be very hesitant to try Potato Soup Ice Cream because maybe not everything that is good is good when you mix it together like that.  And to be fair to Todd, my twitter feed has noted that this 2 minutes is actually out of context of a larger segment on the show, and maybe that causes it to lack nuance.

I don't have any adult children yet, so please take my advice about how to raise children theologically with a large warning label on it which says, "this man receives sinners and eats with them," yes?  But it seems to me that what happens in this video is that Todd has forgotten how a few categories overlap without the whole thing becoming the wrong kind of soup or the wrong kind of ice cream.

Imagine with me my son and I driving along someplace, and we're discussing our mutual inclination to sin.  That is: he lives with me.  He sees me every day and he knows that his Dad, while awesome, is still a sinner.  And because I live with him, I know that he is also a sinner.  He's just like his Dad after all.  So my son tells me, "Dad, I know it's a sin, but sometimes I'm just so angry I could pop, and sometimes I do.  What am I going to do?"

Now imagine that what I say to him about his anger is this:
You have to try to not be angry, but if you do get angry, you can go to the cross and seek forgiveness.  Think about this, son: of course I don’t want you to run out into the snow and get frostbite, but if you do, I want you to go ahead and dial 9-1-1 for help.  Because that’s the Gospel – angry people get forgiveness from Jesus.  Jesus makes angry people happy in God’s eyes.
That's simply not it -- that's simply not how Paul talks about the problem of sin, the solution in the Gospel, and the battle for sanctification.  Now, if I had less time this week, I would simply point you to this post from me from a while ago (2012) and be done with it.  But I want to approach this topic in the context Todd has laid out here (such as it is) as there are important differences from that previous situation which I think you personally will benefit from.

The one thing Todd gets right in this video, if there is anything, is that the Gospel is actually the solution to the problem he is pointing at.  The Gospel is actually the solution to lust and fornication.  For those who are in adultery and fornication right now, the Gospel is the solution to them because let's face it: Jesus did die for sinners.  But Jesus didn't just die for us because of the things we do: Jesus died for us because of who we really are.  Think about this: we aren't sinners because we have fornicated.  We fornicated because we have yet been sinners with no hope; we have sinned out the the overflow of our hearts. That act is simply what seems or seemed right in our own eyes in spite of God's law telling us the truth.

But those of us who have more than God's law -- that is, those of us who have the fulfillment of the Law in the Gospel, fulfilled for us because we were yet sinners -- have the means to do something other than what seems right in our own eyes.

First, we have the ability to see that Christ died to highlight the great value of the things which God has set forth as holy through the great price which Holiness demands.  This should give us a measuring stick which upsets the apple cart of what seems good in our own eyes at least long enough to reset our thinking caps.  Second, we have the ability to see that we are changed by the death of Christ from those who were no people at all to being God's holy people. born again with a new ability to want what God wants.  That's New Covenant language, I'll grant you, but what it means is that we are no longer dragged around by the cares of this world, but willing to do what God wants us to do.  It's funny that here when it matters most Todd misses this when in other places he has been so adamant that an unwillingness to do what God wants is a sign that one might actually not be saved at all.  Third, the reason handing a child a condom and saying, "well, best of luck; don't use that unless you have to," seems to look a lot like Todd's version of how to handle this is because it really is a lot the same.  That is, it is offering the wrong solution to the problem by looking only at the consequences and not at the causes.

You know: one cause of finding yourself working out the necessary consequences of unbridled lust is that you have already given away all the bridles on your lust -- for example, thinking primarily of the safety and honor of the other person; keeping a relationship under the accountability of others; staying on the right side of the right doors.  The condom is a solution to a problem which one ought not to create for one's self.  Thinking before it happens that Jesus will love you anyway is, in fact, the same thing: trying to find a solution for something you can absolutely picture yourself doing.

The right solution here (and there are more, which I suggest are best discussed between a child and a parent rather than on a blog) is not to find the way to resolve the worst possible moral failure before it happens.  It is to use the solution God gave us in order to see the problem for what it is and see his solution for what it is really doing for us in order to defeat the problem, not to merely hope that we don't have to trust Jesus to forgive us for that.